Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Brad for Mayor

I'm going to run for mayor of Seattle, and I'm going to win. I'm running on a "Save the Humans" platform. You need all the help you can get. Here is my preliminary campaign poster:


Ulric said...

You have my vote, Brad. We can't go wrong if we have a talking ape as mayor. I'm sure that the plan for the Banana Tax Repeal was well thought out in terms of benefitting the community, and has nothing to do with the coincidental fact that bananas are your favorite food.

galetea said...

If I lived in Seattle, you'd totally have my vote, Brad. :) A sensible platform for a better city.

LB said...

Your concern for Seattle's safety is commendable. I for one certainly think your the gorilla for the job. Those billions your gonna take, I'm assuming your talking about Bill Gates right?

Anonymous said...

If you are a gorilla and gorillas are apes, do you believe in Darwin's theory of evolution? Or are you an example of intelligent design gone awry?


HitManJ said...

I'll pull some strings fer ya.

You have the full support of the waste management union!


Brad the Gorilla said...

Thank you for all of your support. I shall now address each comment:

1)Ulric, yes the fact that bananas are my favorite food is entirely a coincidence when contrasted with the Banana Tax Repeal. I'm confident that everyone will be better off.

2)Thank you, Galetea. I knew I could count on your theoretical vote.

3)CLB, the money is going to come from a number of Seattle's billionaires, though there will have to be some matching funds from the public in order to assure that they don't develop a collective sense of entitlement.

4)Ivanhoe, it's great to see a new face. My educated opinion on evolution can be found in question 10 of the Brad FAQ. As far as intelligent design goes, if it exists, I am an example of intelligent design surpassing its original plans.

5)Thank you, Hitmanj. I was concerned that the waste management union would refuse the tenets of my platform. What a relief!

Lady K said...

Why NOT a gorilla for mayor? I'm sure you could do a better job than most HUMAN mayors...hell, while you're at it, why not get into the white house? Lord knows THAT human's not getting it...You've definitely got my vote!

Brad the Gorilla said...

LH, Thanks for your vote! I wonder if I would indeed be white house material, or if all of my vices would stand in my way.

Ho ho ho.

Lady K said...

Ah, hell, Brad, I'm sure the white house kitchen staff could use a break from dubya's usual fair. Think of the huge kitchen you could uh, experiment in!

Anonymous said...

If a gorilla is running for mayor of Seattle, does that make a monkey out of Greg Nickels?