Saturday, September 12, 2009

Beatles Rock Band

I've decided to crash a Beatles Rock Band party tonight. I'm more of an Elvis man myself, but I'm willing to play a music-oriented video-game when there's food involved. However, there are a few complaints about the game that I'd like to air:

1. Too many buttons, not enough strings. I think players should be required to learn their instruments. If you're pressing buttons, you may as well play an autoharp. At least the autoharp has strings.

2. "Twist and Shout" and "Boys" are not Beatles compositions. However, they're on Beatles Rock Band, whereas "Tomorrow Never Knows" and "Revolution No. 9" are not.

3. No Rutles.

Thursday, September 03, 2009

Gorilla Grumbles

I keep getting emails in my inbox about the so-called "best" photos of National Geographic. They're not that great. There's not a gorilla in the bunch. It's been a long time since we've gotten a cover like this one.

While I'm grumbling, I should mention that I still can't seem to get a proper endorsement for Seattle mayor. I also can't seem to get proper health insurance, but almost everyone is in the same boat around here. Forget dental insurance. You should see my teeth! On the other hand, you probably shouldn't.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Meet Me On Twitter


By the way, my birthday is August 14. You hadn't forgotten, had you?

Monday, July 13, 2009

Monday, December 15, 2008

I first show up on the scene in 1988...

You can find the documentation of my first appearance here. I showed up in 1988. I don't know about this rubbish regarding "Fred's father." I am nobody's father! Fred the gorilla was my ward until he became of age. I was entrusted with his inheritance. However, I embezzled the funds and lost the whole kit-and-caboodle in one fateful game of Billabong. I tried to win it all back in a game of Guts, but ended up in the pokey for 6 weeks instead.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

The Gorilla in the Room

How many times have I written that I'm not blogging anymore? Twice, I'm sure. Maybe three times. The old gang is mostly gone. Bradley Enterprises has lost millions. I think I'm glad that Barack Obama is our new president-elect*, but I don't know what his position is on the whole Save the Gorillas movement. I tried to ask him at a press conference, but despite my exuberant arm-waving and boisterous shouting, he never answered my question. At least someone else noticed. Monte Canfield of Ohio wrote about this particular piece of pathos in his article, The 800 lb Gorilla in the Room that Obama Can't Admit:

I am not faulting Obama for ignoring this gorilla in the room until after the election. In fact, I have no idea whether or not he even sees the gorilla.

Just to clarify a point, I'm only 424 lbs, actually, as I recently lost 10 lbs just from shedding fur. But I take his point. I don't think Obama saw me.

Can you see the gorilla in the room?

In other news, I recently modeled for Anthony Browne's new book, Little Beauty.

*I don't get to vote. This country does not allow gorillas the franchise. That means that I don't pay taxes either. No taxation without representation!

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Today is My Birthday

It's true. Don't ask me how old I am. I've lost count of the years.

By the way, I am now on Facebook as "Brad G. Rilla."