Ulric the human is gone for the weekend! (He doesn't want me to refer to him by his real name anymore, so I'll use my landlady's name for him.) Ulric is attending his step-sister's wedding. Last night, Brutus, Fred, Filbert and I decided to have a much-needed celebration of our wild wooliness. My landlord refused to let me borrow the car, so we had to raid Ulric's stash of beer.
While we were celebrating, who should drop by but our old friends Sylvester and Wiley. It was almost like old times before Sylvester and Wiley went on to become stars in the television industry. I'm not bitter-- they did try their best to get me some gigs on their Saturday morning show, but the producers were rather stinky ahout hiring primates. The star of the show (no names here, but I'll give you a hint: his favorite food is carrots, and he likes to wear long blonde wigs) was a real prima-donna and said that no gorilla was going to upstage the program he'd worked so hard to bring to children all over the world. I know, it doesn't make sense, but that's show business for you. It probably has something to do with my eventual disgust for television. (Now, I just watch my old favorite shows on DVD.)
After awhile, we got so boistrous that Brutus ended up bringing the party to a close. Even though we were having so much fun, Brutus is one gorilla with whom you do not argue. Even Stewy Stinker quakes in his boots when Brutus shows up at the Green Dragon Inn. Brutus makes a little extra money as as bouncer, but he's been known to throw the owners out of their own pubs when he thought they were getting rowdier than their patrons. (Of course, Stewy Stinker always gets rowdier than his patrons, so you can imagine the resulting indignity. By the way, Stewy Stinker and I have made amends, though he still refuses to return my chili pepper apron. He says it looks better on him than it does on me. Hah!)
Today, I'm helping my landlord work on some of the overflow from Tony Dowler Consulting, Inc. (which my employees secretly call "Todoco.") My landlord said, "Never let me accept a job for an e-commerce website again... except for the next one I'm working on."
Here is my desk:
Tonight, we're all heading over to a birthday party for the landlord's daughter's best friend, Vitus.* There will be pizza and cake, but little does Vitus know that I'm bringing a special dish inspired by the Baked Alaska. It's called "Frozen Hawaii." I can't tell you the recipe (patent pending, after all), but if you're thinking of lava cake and ice-cream, you're on the right track.
*My landlady says that Vitus is named after the patron saint of oversleeping. He's three years old and more enthusiastic about getting up in the morning than any alarm clock you've ever met. At least he doesn't dance on his parents' heads anymore.