Thursday, September 08, 2005

Brad's Hot Fudge Sundae

When people find out that I'm a chef, they inevitably ask, "Do you know how to make a banana split?" You might as well ask my landlady, who happens to be a children's librarian, if she's at all familiar with the works of Dr. Seuss. My landlady says that it's best to behave as if there's no such thing as a stupid question. Hah! I have no patience for such trivial matters as stupid questions.

Now, if you were to ask me if I know how to make a hot-fudge sundae, that would be a different story. I have a patent on a wondrous creation called


Brad's Hot Fudge Sundae



While the exact ingredients are secret, the basic premise is this: if you order a hot-fudge sundae, the fudge should be hot. Yet, why do so many hot-fudge sundaes end up cold? The ice-cream, of course. My hot-fudge sundae differs in that something as inconsequential as the freezing point of ice-cream should not interfere with your hot-fudge experience. Ergo, I always serve my sundaes with pitchers of hot-fudge (top secret recipe) sitting on top of candle-powered ceramic warmers. You will find that as you pour in layers the hot-fudge sauce onto the vanilla* ice-cream (top secret recipe), you miss neither the whipped-cream (superfluous!) nor the maraschino cherry (potentially cancerous!)

Bon appetit, homo sapiens.


*If you want a different ice-cream flavor, find a different chef.

5 comments:

LB said...

GENIUS! Why didn't a human think of that. I definetly avoid anything with red dye #16 in it. And there are better uses for whipped cream (non-consumptive)

Lady K said...

Simply splendid! And I agree with LB about the whipped cream...

Brad the Gorilla said...

If you are referring to my history with the Pie in the Face Club, you should know that I have no idea about what you are talking. I have never heard of the guy in question, and I certainly had nothing to do with the creation of the whipped-cream pie.

abcgirl said...

ok. i've got a deal for you. you mail me a hot fudge sundae and i'll mail you some fresh tortillas. got it?

Brad the Gorilla said...

Sure! The laws of science are nothing when good cuisine is at stake.