Monday, August 29, 2005

A Song in Latin for Phil the Critic

Phil, the music critic, said to my landlady, "I don't think that Brad actually knows real Latin. He just knows Gorilla Latin, which is remarkably akin to Pig Latin, only with gorillas instead of pigs."

I would take offense at such slander, except that I know Phil can't converse in Latin, so it's not as if he would be able to recognize my superior sentence diagramming and conjugating skills if they reared up and bit him on the chin. However, such a jest should not go ignored. Therefore, let justice be sweet and swift.

Phil, here is a little song in Latin for you to learn. You will get to sing it this Friday before Deadbeat Crawdads' gig at the Geogeo Lounge. You have 3 days and 4 nights (including tonight) to learn it. The band will accompany you. Then, and only then, will honor be satisfied. ("Gorilla Latin," indeed. Phy! Fabulae!)


Senex MacDonaldus

MacDonaldus Senex fundum habet.
E-I-E-I-O.
Et in hoc fundo,
Nonnullas boves domesticus habet.
E-I-E-I-O.

Cum, “Moo, Moo,” hic,
Cum, “Moo, Moo,” ibi,
Hic una, “Moo,” Ibi una, “Moo,”
Ubique una, “Moo, Moo.”
MacDonaldus Senex fundum habet.
E-I-E-I-O.

4 comments:

LB said...

Brad, You are wise beyond your gorilla years. I knew it would be impossible to fool you. I know you've seen Harold & Maude. But have you seen Dallas or possible Married with Children. If you have then you know exactly where I'm going with this. Does Latin help you get females?

Brad the Gorilla said...

Cute Little Box,
I knew it wasn't over. Good for you. I haven't seen "Dallas" or "Married With Children" because long ago I threw my television out the window, and I've never replaced it. Since then, I've just watched films on my computer, since it has a DVD player.

I don't know whether or not Latin helps me get females. I'm a confirmed bachelor. I know Ms. Smoochypants and Ms. Potamus think I'm a good-looking gorilla, but they are both happily married, so we don't have any complicated issues. If you are hoping to find some talent to help you get females, I'd recommend skipping the Latin and moving straight onto learning how to cook. I've observed that females like a good provider, especially when that provider knows how to make Vegetable Shahi Korma.

Phil said...

I may not be able to converse in Latin, but that doesn't mean I can't recognize your sentence diagramming and conjugating skills for what they are. And as your landlord once wrote, I am the "god of blue pencil editing, daimon of grammar." So I wouldn't be too quick to challenge my editing skills if I were you.

As for your song, the rhythm of the longer lines is totally lost when translated into Latin. Have you considered using a more authentic Latin name for the farmer? It is, however, a noble effort at translation.

Brad the Gorilla said...

Phil, as they say in the old country, "Da mihi sis crustum Etrscum cum spiniciae in eo."