You may recall that, three months ago, I complained about the Grocery Outlet across the street. However, I have become more kindly disposed toward the store since I discovered the Kozy Shack* banana pudding. When I saw it, I got very excited. Yes, I know how to make banana pudding, but sometimes a person is in a hurry and can't bear to deal with all of the fiddly bits involved. However, I did pause to debate whether I should save one of the containers of pudding for later to make banana cream pie or the piña colada pudding (with real rum, of course), or whether I should just forgo the niceties and eat both containers in a go.
Then, Fred and Charlotte showed up. Guess what. They wanted banana pudding too. "Nothing doing," I said. "I carried this pudding home from the store all by myself, and I'm going to eat it all by myself." I was quite gruff about the matter, and Fred and Charlotte were cowed. I thought everything was settled, and when...
Lucia, the Landlord's daughter, came to the table. She was fierce. "You share," she said.
"No!" I cried.
A tug of war ensued.
It pains me to admit this, but there is just no way a full-grown gorilla can compete with a toddler. To add insult to injury, she made me share the pudding with her parents. I felt like The Little Red Hen, I tell you (how's that for a folktale reference, Ms. Pudding-Purloining Landlady?). I found the pudding, I bought the pudding, I carried the pudding all the way home and I had to get my own spoon on top of everything else. Where does "sharing" come into the picture? I think the people who want me to share are always the ones who don't have pudding.
It's just not fair.
(Pssst, I still have another container left. Anybody want some?)
*They should be paying me for all of this advertising, those ungrateful louts.