Today is my Landlord's* birthday! This morning I got out my guitar and sang him a song I made up:
You're thirty-six years old today,
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
I'm impressed you don't have grey
Hair, hair, hair (but sung to rhyme with "yeah, yeah,yeah").
Though you're a stickler for the rules,
Ooooh, oooh, oooh,
I still think you're pretty cool,
Shoooo, beeee, dooooo.
I wanted to sing the traditional "Happy Birthday" song, but AOL Time/Warner said they'd sue me if I didn't pay them $10k USD for the rights to use the song in a public setting. That would eat up all my profits and deplete the helicopter fund.
I also tried to make my Landlord a chocolate cake with coconut frosting, but for some reason, I had a bit of trouble with the dimensions of the bakeware:
I have learned my lesson: never attempt to cook or bake before I've had my first two cups of coffee. My Landlord has already discovered this universal truth... over and over. Of course, this lesson is a Catch-22, because before one has had two cups of coffee, one does not often have the mental capabilities of making reasonable decisions. My Landlady scoffs at this notion, but she's a milky-coffee one-cup-a-day kind of consumer.
*My Landlord drew the pictures.