Saturday, January 21, 2006
Nonny's new clothes
I don't know how to tell you this, so I'll just come straight out and say it: It's my fault that your arms have mysteriously gone missing.
I had the best of intentions. I wanted you to be able to try on the new Bradley Enterprises line of clothing (click on the tee-shirt icon on the left of this webpage). As pricey as these garments are, I wanted you to see how smashing you look in your new ensemble. After all, who can really put a price on beauty?
Somewhere, in all of the bustle of the preparations, I lost your arms.
I've made you a temporary replacement pair. I know they're not quite what you're used to, but look at it this way: each hand has five digits. That wasn't easy! Charlotte said you'd do fine with only four digits on each hand, but I said, "No, Charlotte, Nonny needs her thumbs." I was quite emphatic on that point.
Maybe with a flower in your hand and a crown upon your head, you won't notice the difference at all. Oh, yes, and I accidentally got rid of all the books in your office. I hope that placing you on the beach will help make up for it.
I know this is not what you had in mind, but if I may be so bold, I rather like your new arms. You have no idea what levels of flexibility are now at your fingertips (no pun intended). When you do yoga (proudly! wearing your new Brad the Gorilla garb), you will be the admiration of everyone. I'm sure of it.
Of course, there is some part of me that is worried that you're going to come after me and throttle me with those new arms of yours. Would you really do that to your friend Brad? The arms look good on you, I say. Also, you never know when super-elastic strength will come in handy (oh, there I go again).