I am throwing off the yoke of oppression. Not only did I not win the mayoral race of Seattle, the government officials threw out my ballot! They said I'm not eligible to vote in the United States. What nerve. I've been voting for years, and no one's made too much of a fuss before.
Fine. The United States government won't allow me to vote, so I shall embrace a country that will recognize my rights as a free-thinking, political ape. I am now a proud citizen of the Republic of Cascadia. My Landlady claims to be a Cascadian fan (you'll see it in her profile), but never mind her Anglophilic pretentions and claims to be a citizen of the world-- she is a United Statesian at heart. You can take the real New York bagels away from the Landlady, but you cannot take the Landlady away from... oh, I guess the Landlord did that too. Never mind. To make up for it, he brings her coffee in the mornings.
In any case...
Here is the anthem of Cascadia, written by Dan LeRoque (link has an mp3 file of the song):
Cascadia, Cascadia, of ever-present rain
Cascadia, Cascadia, the drugs help ease the pain.
We come here from Newfoundland, Quebec and Ontario
And call our folks in winter-time, to laugh cuz they've got snow.
Sang de revolte je prends partant mon grandpapa et pere
On viens ici pour faire squeegee et prendre le welfare
Cascadia, Cascadia, Oh faultline under me
You wouldn't want to be here when we fall into the sea.
ever-present rain: Often a heavy mist, rarely an out-and-out deluge.
drugs help ease the pain: Lots of Cascadians are on anti-depressants. It's not that the PNW itself is depressing, but that the lack of direct sunlight in the winter months can have negative effects. Human beings need 20 minutes a day of direct sunlight (no sunscreen) in order to get the Vitamin D they need. Gorillas in the diaspora generally don't need to take anti-depressants, but during the winter, we do tend to write soppy ballads about how no one understands us. It's embarrassing! I usually burn all the evidence once spring rolls around.
laugh cuz they've got snow: Today, Seattle got snow. It was quite the event. Despite the fact that most of it has melted away, we're all still talking about it with much amazement.
Sang de revolte etc.: Of course there's French in our anthem. We're so cultured around these parts. There is no evidence whatsoever of an inferiority complex to New Yorkers. Or anyone else (especially those cities with great sports teams). Do you think I jest? Perish the thought.
You wouldn't want to be here when we fall into the sea.: So, what's the point? As Sufjan Stevens sings, "All things go." (I'm afraid that's what's going to happen to the gorillas too, and it makes me sad.) At the same time, I really wish we Cascadians would get it together so that we're earthquake prepared. I don't want to be anywhere near the Alaska Way Viaduct or the 520 Bridge when the Big One hits. Despite my surly exterior (and interior, for I am tough meat through and through), I wouldn't want anyone else to be there either.
I don't want to end on a dismal note, so I shall leave you with the inspiring verses of the Geoduck Fight Song.