Saturday, December 10, 2005

Genetic make-up

I admit that I was skeptical that actor Andy Serkis could play a good Kong. You know how I feel about humans playing gorillas. There are perfectly good gorillas out there willing to act for big budget films, especially when they're paid properly. However, my initial reservations have given way to confidence that old Gollum-face can actually act. Here is the article that convinced me:

Handsome Beast

Initially, I scoffed when I read these paragraphs:

Serkis is something of a gorilla expert now. Humans, he says, differ only about 3 per cent in genetic make-up from simians. To get in touch with his inner 97 per cent, he studied gorillas everywhere, from his local zoo in London to the mountains of Rwanda.

He must have done well. The story of his interactions with Zaire, an older female gorilla at London Zoo, could have pushed Brad and Angelina off the front pages.

"I spent a lot of time at the zoo before I went off to Rwanda and I began to realise she recognised me," he says. "Then she would start beckoning me and, yes, flirting."

I don't know what the author was talking about with this "Brad and Angelina" business. Perhaps they meant "Brad and Jen" (we're just friends, remember), but still, someone needs to proofread these articles in a more professional manner. I don't know anyone named Angelina, unless you count the dancer, Angelina Ballerina. Really, we've only met twice, so I hardly know her. (Remember, gorillas are more of modern-dance and jazz fans.)

When I read this paragraph, I was convinced that Serkis was the right actor to bring authenticity to the film:

Serkis became an on-set gorilla advocate. When the script called for Kong to chow down on a vanquished tyrannosaurus, Serkis pointed out gorillas are vegetarian. The menu at Kong's victory feast thus features a medley of giant bamboo shoots.

Thank you, Mr. Serkis. It's about time. I cannot imagine anything more unappetizing than a "vanquished tyrannosaurus" (unless you count Ulric's peanut-butter in canned mushroom soup fiasco).

P.S. On a whim, I've lifted the ban on contractions.


Yorkshire Pudding said...

Glad to see that you have been forced to remove the British flag from the background of your profile picture but what is that foul green material - cabagge leaves? "King Kong" hits the cinemas in the UK this week - always a few days behind the US. I guess this will bring a lot more "hits" to your blogsite as interest in gorillas increases - you may get some TV chatshow invitations. This could be tricky as I suppose you are unable to speak English - communicating with your fellow gorillas with grunts and suchlike.
CHATSHOW HOST: So Brad what did you think of "King Kong"?
BRAD: Ugha, ugha, i, i, I! (Short i's as in "Italy")

Brad the Gorilla said...

Mr. Pudding,
You are quite silly.
Not that silliness is a bad thing, of course.

To answer your questions:
The "foul green material" to which you refer is the back of a quilt my Landlady's mother made. I am sure that she was unaware that it was "foul" (though I suspect she knew it was green.) What do you have against cabbage leaves, Mr. Pudding? You have never had golabki, I presume (I eat the vegetarian kind, of course, but my Landlady loves the kind with meat.) I shudder to think of what you do with cabbage leaves that makes you so violently opposed to them.

Old chap, if I am unable to speak gorilla, then you must be speaking/writing gorillese. Congratulations upon your bilingual achievement!

Nonny said...

Brad, We changed our profile pics at the same time! Great minds do think alike. I adore the green background, it really brings out the color of your fur.

Brad the Gorilla said...

Thank you, Nonny! I applaud your choice of Kitty White for your profile picture. Will you change outfits with the seasons?!

HitManJ said...

New avatars? I was just getting used to mine. I don't think I could find another one that suits me so well. I shall try.

Brad, CLEARLY Hollywood has yet to discover the great acting ability of the Gorilla. I liken this to the midget. It was only after Wizard of Oz that the midget was recognized as a specialty actor and is now a staple in most good films...and most funny films. Hopefully, you and your species will be noticed and break out and it will soon be the standard by which ALL good films are measured...the quality of the Gorilla on the set...or behind the camera....hrm...

King-Kong II - Directed by Brad T. Gorilla.

HitManJ said...

Ok, NOW check you out. No fancy dots, but you have your own unique border....

Alkelda the Gleeful said...

Hitman J,

Please don't change your avatar! If you really want to change it, that's one thing, but please don't change it just because Brad and Nonny are being shifty.:)