For Charlotte, the initial thrill of Seattle has worn off, and now she complains about missing her friends in Glasgow. She is doing quite well for a beginner in her internship here at Bradley Enterprises, and someday she may rival even me in terms of grouchy bossiness. Fred, on the other hand, is a mellow sort of chap. He’s always trying to do kind things for Charlotte. Charlotte thinks Fred is babyish, and so she turns up her nose at his efforts.
Yesterday morning, as I was making eggs sunny-side up, Charlotte stomped to the breakfast table and said, “Eeew. I hate runny eggs. I only like meatless Scotch eggs."
I figured Charlotte could take care of her own breakfast. I don't know if you've ever had a Scotch egg, but nothing will harden your arteries faster, unless you count Charlotte's other favorite snack, the deep-fried Mars Bar. However, as I began to grind the coffee-beans for my first cup of coffee, Fred asked Charlotte, “Would you like an omelet made with Smart Bacon and bread-crumbs? An omelet isn't a runny egg."
"No!" Charlotte replied. "I said I didn't want any eggs that weren't Scotch eggs. I'd rather just starve."
“You don't need to throw a fit," I told Charlotte. "Fred was trying to help, which is more than I would do for you in the temper you’re in.”
“Fred is just a smug do-gooder,” Charlotte said. "He doesn't understand what I'm going through."
For those comments, I had Charlotte clean all the toilets in the house. In addition, she had to do something nice for Fred. She hasn’t done it yet, but she’s not getting her weekly stipend until she cooperates.
I have a headache.