Thursday, December 15, 2005

Brad Stays

Mr. Pudding,

Your complaints reached the right officials, it seemed. When Ulric’s neighbors found out that Ulric was bringing two gorillas to his apartment (or two and a ½, if you count Fred, who is part chimp, part gorilla), they raised a ruckus. “No gorillas in Queen Anne!” they cried. I had to calm them down using buckets of water and dirt. The superintendent finally reached a compromise whereby everyone agreed that one gorilla could stay in the apartment. Everyone took a vote, and Brutus won. (I think they were still mad about the water and dirt.) So, Brutus is moving out with Ulric, and Fred and I are staying in the Landlord’s and Landlady’s house. It’s just as well—Charlotte has been making a mess of the place, and the Landlady said, “I’m already cleaning up after a toddler. Cleaning up after a toddler and a teenager is just too much to ask of me.” I told the Landlady that she could make Charlotte clean up after herself, but the Landlady scoffed. “Who has ever successfully made a teenager do anything?” she asked. “They have to think that the things they do are their own ideas, or nothing ever gets done.”

I conceded her point.

Nonny, I am granting your long-awaited wish. Here is a family photo of Fred, Charlotte, and me in the fruit-basket:


Yorkshire Pudding said...

What happens when you need to use the gorillas' room but you are stuck in the fruit basket? Won't Fred and Charlotte suffer beneath or is gorilla excretia good for the skin? Maybe you could put it in jars and market it at your local pharmacy. "Mmmm I tried "Brad" and it made my skin feel ten years younger..."

Nonny said...


It was so worth the wait though. That must be an industrial strength fruit basket. You all look comfy though.

I'm glad your staying put. The House Of Glee would not be the same without you.

HitManJ said...

Charlotte's a little're gonna end up having to fight off all the young teenage boys!

She's too young to be "effen hawt"

Brad the Gorilla said...

it is indeed an industrial-strength fruit-basket. Ulric was skeptical that the basket could hold all of us, but I insisted on the photo. We're now living on top of the hutch (pictured behind the fruit-basket). Ulric dusted the top of the hutch and gave stern instructions to the Landlady that she had to dust more often. That'll be the day!

Mr. Pudding,
Thank you for your concern over the potential of my getting stuck in the fruit-basket when I need to use the loo. As I said to Nonny, I reside at the top of the hutch, and it is no problem to hop down to get to where I need to go. Hopping back up is another matter.

Hitman J,
What am I going to do? I've never before raised a teenager. I need Friday's help. What have I gotten myself into? She's already using my computer to chat online with other gorillas in the diaspora. Ai, yi-yi.

Lady K said...

Which one is Fred and which is Charlotte? I'm SO confused!

Brad the Gorilla said...

Fred is the one on the left. Can you see how well-worn he is? He's been with Ulric even longer than I have, which is funny, because I'm older than Fred. (Try to figure that one out, will you!) Charlotte is the angry-looking one on the right.