Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Brad and Jen

Good morning, everyone. I am your new mayor of Seattle.

Just kidding. Mr. Nickels is going to serve a second term. I'm not too choked up about it, though. At his acceptance speech, the mayor said a number of good things about my campaign, and vowed that he would spearhead an Initiative to repeal the Banana Tax. The big shake-up around here is the approval of the Statewide smoking ban in public places. That doesn't affect us cigar smokers, since there usually are separate rooms for cigar smoking. (I still don't like the smell of smoke in my fur, which is why I stick to my Havana Banana cigars. They are hard to get, so please remember Your Friend Brad when you visit Cuba.)

In other news, it seems that my friendship with Jen Aniston has made the gossip columns. If the print is too tiny to read, click on the article, and it will enlarge:

8 comments:

Lady K said...

Brad, as a smoker in a non-smoking world: ARGH! But I DO respect those who don't. As for the cigars, next time I'm in Cuba I will definitely smuggle IMEAN uh, pick up some "native" artifacts for you. As for the smokey-smell on your fur ~ are you as opposed to baths as my canine companion? She MUCH MORE prefers the shower...

Jen has come a long way. Her role in Office Space still has me dodging my boss on Friday afternoons...

Nonny said...

I'm glad Jen cleared that up beause I was tired of the tabloids printing whatever the hell they wanted.

Brad the Gorilla said...

Dear Lady Hearteater,
I don't like to get my fur wet.

Dear Nonny,
No kidding! The press is just brutal.

Anonymous said...

"Washington's proposal would prohibit smoking in indoor public facilities and workplaces with no exceptions -- not even cigar lounges or private clubs."

Brad the Gorilla said...

Hi! Calling you "Anonymous" would be too anonymous, so in keeping with my earlier policy of giving nicknames, I'm calling you Ziti, simply because I feel like it. Okay...

Hello, Ziti,
Somehow I missed what you quoted. So, no more smoking in cigar lounges for me. Maybe I'll just quit. Havana Banana cigars are increasingly hard to obtain. Hmmm, what shall it be...

Eggnot in my coffee? That's what I'll do. I'll try it for the next few days. Ho ho, let them try to ban THAT.

galetea said...

Is her hair as good in real life as it looks on TV?

Nonny said...

Hey Brad, where the hell ya been?

Brad the Gorilla said...

Galetea,

Jen is actually bald! She finds the fuss about hair to be so overwrought that she shaves her head daily. However, her publicist has insisted that there is a clause in her contract that states she must have great hair, so she wears wigs for her adoring public. I think Jen looks better bald, but perhaps that is because she has a neat friendship tattoo that says "Brad" within a heart, surrounded by dancing ape figures. The only reason I don't have a "Jen" tattoo is because I am so furry. Also, I do not like needles.