You've got a lot to explain, Hitman J! This LEGO makeover is all your fault. I am never again taking your fashion advice.
It all started off in an innocuous manner... or so I thought.
"You're a handsome gorilla," J told me, "but even you could benefit from a LEGO makeover. It's done wonders for my complexion and the ladies really go for the angular look. It's so much better than a Yahoo Avatar. Trust me. Go to this place, tell them that 'Johnny Clamps' sent you, and you won't be sorry."
I can't believe how undignified and silly I look. What's with the Green Lantern symbol on a yellow shirt? Preposterous, I say. My chef's hat doesn't fit, either, and my head feels funny. It's going to take me all weekend to get this mess sorted out.
Hitman J, you owe me an ice-cream cone. No, two ice-cream cones.
O woe is me!
9 comments:
I agree. You don't look right with rectangles. You are defined by circles, ellipses, and lemniscates. Oh, and you have a parabola for a mouth.
I like it Brad! Of course I'd like you know matter what shape or size :)
You're wrong and Hitman is right! You do look better in Lego form! Gone is all that parasite ridden gorilla fur and in its place smooth, hygienic plastic lines. A huge improvement.
I will not stand for it, I say!
Dear Mr. The Gorilla,
I, for one, welcome our new peg-headed simian overlords.
Though your mug would have looked much more svelt atop a LEGO Darth Vader body, true.
Ever your obedient sycophant,
Señor Magnifico
Fortunately, my fur is growing back. Hitman J still needs to get me ice-cream, though.
Señor Magnifico: I appreciate your dedicated loyalty. You are a good sycophant, and deserving of many chocolate-covered bananas.
Lady K: You're sweet on me, aren't you?!
Dude, I got you coupons...what more?
Ok, fine....I'll get you some ice cream.
Whiny ape. If you weren't so good at breaking shins....
Brad, did you see Emeril, last night? He was doing this whole thing on chocolate, but did a LOT with bananas. When I saw him flambee the first batch, I immediately thought of you. Now I know why. You and Emeril could have been separated at birth!
Hitman J,
I like shredded coconut on top of my ice-cream. Make it a double-scoop, and we'll call it even.
Friday: I did not see Emeril last night. I have missed out on so much ever since I threw my tv out the window. If I still had my tv, I would have the Food Network on 24/7. Ah, television!
Lady K: You have no idea how many people say that. If I had any shred of humility, I'd blush.
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