Monday, February 27, 2006

I'm in Blogjail

I am writing from jail. Blogjail, to be exact. I am allowed one 10 minute blog post before they cart me away. Please come visit me, and bring bail, too. Last night, I was busted for falsely representing myself as an erew-folk (more specifically, "Hitman B") with the intent of getting people to divest their cannoli supplies to me. I had gotten the idea from my Landlady's blog with the onset of the new moon. I would convince you all I was undergoing a metamorphoses into Hitman B, and the only cure would be large plates of cannoli. My Landlady got wind of the scheme, told her friends, and then before I knew it, the Blogpolice showed up. They were ruthless. They took my cannoli away (I'll bet they ate it themselves) and carted me off to Blogjail.

My Landlady feels badly about the whole thing, and is trying to raise the bail. Please send comments. Lots of comments. Good ones. Please.

35 comments:

Tony said...

Well Brad, I didn't want to be the one to say it, but I hope you've learned something from all this.

Fridaysweb said...

I'm pretty broke, but could probably whip up a canolli or three. Do you think I could bribe the guards with that? I'll do what I can for you. As long as you promise not to preen me the next full moon.

Nonny said...

What's the big deal? Wouldn't J have to actually press charges in order for anything "major" to happen? Regardless, how much is bail? I've got some extra pennies laying around.

HitManJ said...

In blog jail, bail is comments. There is little you can do to bribe people....unless you have connections.

How do I know this? um...a little birdy told me....yeah.


Brad, imitation is the most sincere form of flattery.....at least you didn't disgrace my likeness or insult my honor.


Comments abound!

HitManJ said...

Since the dawn of science, we have known that the moon plays a special role in our spiritual realm. It would be immature, ignorant, and disrespectful to hold Brad responsible for his lunar-induced transformation.


Let my primates go!

HitManJ said...

With Brad in BlogJail, who'll make the t-shirts?

This would be a tremendous loss! I got mine in the mail this weekend and it is FABULOUS!

Alkelda the Gleeful said...

Brad, you have no idea how badly I feel about all of this. Even though I was furious that you would try to get lots of cannoli in such a sneaky manner, I must admit I was secretly jealous. I haven't had a proper cannoli in YEARS.

May your time in Blogjail be short. I'm doing what I can to raise the bail.

Yorkshire Pudding said...

FREE HITMAN B! FREE THE MONKEY! FREE BRAD! FREE BALLPOINT PEN WITH EVERY $200 SPENT!

Lady K said...

I have a big jar of pennies at home, too, Brad. AND I know how to make cannoli...

HitManJ said...

What cell did they put you in?

Look behind the mirror....do you see the initials "HJC"? If so, try checking the third bar from the left in the window.


Just a hunch.

HitManJ said...

No wait...

it won't be "HJC" it'll probably be an inking of two clamps.

Nonny said...

How many more comments do you need Brad?

Brad the Gorilla said...

Hi everyone, this is just a brief, quick post before they take me away again. When I asked how many comments I'd need for bail, the jailer said, "Oh no, Brad, you're not going to get your friends to spring you by writing one-word comments to fill a quota."

Hey, Nonny, J, Lady K, Friday, Landlady (where are Rawbean and Ulric when I need them? Waaaah!),

You wouldn't by any chance know a lawyer, would you? A lawyer who specializes in blogcrimes such as mine would be helpful. Of course, I don't know how I would pay the lawyer, seeing as I'm having trouble raising my own bail money.

Oof, here they come. Gotta go! Don't forget meeeeeeeeee......

Lady K said...

Jeez, Brad, why don't you use the money you've gotten from your shirt sales? I haven't been to the merchandise site in awhile, but do you have COFFEE mugs or cups for iced tea at work? hmmm...

HitManJ said...

My shirt is DEAD sexy. I'm gonna wear it tomorrow on a special errand....

Lady K~Y, you in?

Nonny, I might need a distraction.

Nonny said...

Hitman One of the conditions of buying Bradwear is that you have to take a photo of you wearing it and send it to Brad for posting purposes. You sound like "Fat Bastard" with that "dead sexy" talk-hottie.

To those holding Brad, please, please let him out. He is gruff but harmless.

HitManJ said...

Yes?

Maybe?

Tasty!

HitManJ said...

ripe

sweet

delish


WV: ycnyc - Why? because Amichai lives in NYC!

Fridaysweb said...

why

Fridaysweb said...

can't

Fridaysweb said...

we

Fridaysweb said...

leave

Fridaysweb said...

one

Fridaysweb said...

word

Fridaysweb said...

comments

Fridaysweb said...

?

Fridaysweb said...

if it's

Fridaysweb said...

against the

Fridaysweb said...

rules then

Fridaysweb said...

I will

Fridaysweb said...

leave two

Fridaysweb said...

word comments

Fridaysweb said...

to those

Fridaysweb said...

nevermind...I see you're out! yay!

Brad the Gorilla said...

I'm free! I'm free!