Saturday, December 02, 2006

First Aid

Here I am in Antarctica. Ho Ho! The broadband is faster here than in Seattle! Shad is benefiting greatly from my assistance, but I've already gotten in trouble with the boss. It turns out that my first aid certification is not up to date. They made me take elementary first aid with the new recruits at the base. I showed them, though. The instructor said my tourniquet was the best he'd ever seen. "But Brad, this is a choking victim!" It just goes to show you, some people are never satisfied. Tomorrow I'll tell you about how I made baked eel for the commander. They didn't have any eel in the commissary, so I had to improvise.

8 comments:

Lady K said...

I think your "first aide" skills would be better off shown in the kitchen. With bananas. Hell, show 'em how to coat 'em in chocolate and freeze 'em!

Just saying...

Yorkshire Pudding said...

Who is this Antarctica lady?
Hope you have some thermal underwear for her to explore.

Brad the Gorilla said...

Lady K: You may be onto something. When someone konks his head, instead of bringing ice in a kitchen cloth, I can bring the person a chocolate-coated frozen banana. Infinitely more pleasant, I should say.

Mr Pudding: What are you talking about? You're babbling again, old chap. Read the post and respond to the actual post, there's a good lad.

Yorkshire Pudding said...

Sorry, it's just that you said you were in Antarctica.

Brad the Gorilla said...

Mr Pudding, now I understand you. Alas, that your high school students have besmirched your lips with such wanton utterances. "Look, yon moon is in the East," blah blah blah.

Ulric said...

Studies show that victims who are experiencing hypothermia would rather have the aid of a gorilla than the aid of a human. Heat exhaustion victims are another story though.

Yorkshire Pudding said...

So you're not kidding? You really are in Antarctica? Wow! As San Francisco hippies used to drawl, "Far out man!". Tell us about the cold, about the silence, about the ocean, the penguins, the litter, the vegetation, the feeling of space, the sense of distance, the quality of light. Your fan club, of which I am the offcial UK secretary, is waiting with bated breath.

Fridaysweb said...

Dude...
did you eat the eel stuff? Are you having events on the toilet like Nonny? You've now been gone longer than me. What gives?
(p.s. Don't mistake the polar bears for the fairer members of your species.)