Wednesday, December 20, 2006


The intern of Totally Choice reviewed me today. I don't know how this intern found my Vlad the Gorilla, my second cousin, but suffice to say, the reason why my second cousin is so incomprehensible is because he ate a large quantity of hallucinogenic starfruit during his overseas tour of duty, and has had to work it out of his system ever since. The intern posted a drawing of Vlad:

I hate to admit it, but Vlad's ikeness is uncanny. The intern gets a point for acceptable sketching. However, the intern writes, "Google, Time Magazine, and Brad would get a Totally Bogus for this blatant act of tyranny, if it weren’t for the fact that Brad got me to Google the word encomium. For that, Brad the Gorilla officially receives a 2 on the scale of Choiceness." My response: you had to look up encomium? What about all of the other Latin words on my blog? You didn't look those up as well? For your appalling lack of scholarship, the Totally Choice blog post recieves a "1" on the Brad-O-Meter. However, since I just made up the Brad-O-Meter, I should give credit where credit is due. Totally Choice recieves 1.5 on the Brad-O-Meter.

Now, to find a Brad-O-Meter....


Monkey said...

I found Vlad's interview rivetting! (I've mispelled rivetting, haven't I?)

I think I have a Brad-O-Meter in my basement. You're welcome to borrow it.

Nonnyhatesbeta said...


You're like 1000 times better looking than Vlad. Stop selling yourself short.

Yorkshire Pudding said...

A Brad-O-Meter is an electronic device that women use in order to test the virility of The Gorillaman before allowing him to couple. Afterwards, over coffee, they meet up at the Seattle Women's Institute to discuss the nuances of Brad's performances rather as ornithologists might compare sightings scribbled in notebooks.