Here is the reason I haven't posted in awhile: I got kicked out of Antarctica. All the governments of the world that have stakes in Antarctica have signed a persona non grata bill to keep me from ever again setting foot on the ice-continent. Shad did what he could to grant me amnesty, but the best he could do was get me provisional status for visiting New Zealand. If it weren't for Peter Jackson, I wouldn't even have that privilege.
The events leading up to my expulsion are humiliating. I've spent the last week sleeping on my Landlord's couch, refusing to get up except to eat the chocolate zucchini bread that Lady K. so kindly brought me and the homemade whiskey Friday overnighted to me. Nonny said she tried to order my favorite cigars for me, but they got tied up in customs. Pudding? Where are you in my time of woe? I know we are mortal enemies, but even Saracen sent oranges to Richard the Lion Heart when he heard that the king of England was a trifle sniffly.
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6 comments:
The events leading up to my expulsion are humiliating.
My curiousity is making me itch. Do tell!
Monkey>: I'm working up to it. The events are even more shocking than the time Mr Pudding put a ferret in his trousers in order to learn to dance like John Travolta in "Saturday Night Fever."
Oh dear! Oh me! Bradley, PLEASE don't drink that jar I sent! I believe I mixed it up with another jar, sitting nearby, outside around the lawnmower. I dare say I'd be hesitant to try it, although, you might want to save it to lube your helicopter blades.
I'm guessing that your expulsion had something to do with the fact that you couldn't foil the court by claiming to be "Shad" this time. Even though you don't have a driver's license or social security card for them to disprove you, they were able to call your bluff by deduction.
Oh my! Sorry you're feeling so glum! Glad you enjoyed the bread. This too, shall pass.
You poor wee monkey. I shall dispatch a crate of Henderson's Relish immediately. Even though you try to humiliate me and say snide and rather nasty things about me, I realise this is just an emanation of your inner mental turmoil so I forgive you... If the relish doesn't arrive contact FedEx in Seattle - Dispatch number : AX3219790XRJ777000SEAT999HEND.REL.UK.SHEFF11
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