Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Gorillas in the News

Baby Gorilla On The Way At Little Rock Zoo
Hurrah! I hope they name the baby Bradley or Bradetta. Please, though, no Bradgelina!

Orphaned Mountain Gorilla Alive and Healthy
Hurrah for the gorilla, but a big hiss-boo to the poachers. I despise poachers. They're On Notice.

Gorilla who mauled toddler back on display
While gorillas are not cuddly, this really was a shocking, simply shocking bit of news. No one in my family mauls toddlers (though we've been known from time to time to drink grown Yorkshiremen under the table, which is almost as shocking). Little Joe, you are On Notice.

Curious George Becomes Marketing Gorilla
Hah! I'm putting United Press International On Notice, too, for confusing monkeys and apes.

Recycle Your Cell Phone and Save Gorilla Habitat
C'mon. It takes so little to do so much. Resist the temptation to fling your cell-phone into the trash during one of your raging tantrums, and recycle your cell-phone instead. Feel free to recycle your tantrums, too. You can go a long way with, "Give me my way RIGHT NOW or I'll lick all of the cookies and put my germs on them."

Like me, Stephen Colbert "gets it."


Yorkshire Pudding said...

What did I do wrong to deserve your mocking, satirical wrath? I am told that gorilla paws make very good ashtrays and add a touch of style to any home. Watch yer back apeman!

Brad the Gorilla said...

Mr Pudding, Gorilla paws only make good ashtrays when they're crushing the cigarettes from lippy (i.e. cheeky) mouths. You refuse to wear one of my Bradley Enterprises tee-shirts yet putter around your patio in flip-flops. You, sir, are On Notice! (Actually, just your flip-flops.)

Yorkshire Pudding said...

Oh yeah! Oh Yeah! I'm really scared dude! Come on then! Come on! You're only jealous cos they don't make flip flops big enough for obscene gorilla feet!