Saturday, October 28, 2006

My life as it is now

This photo is humiliating. I am a 452 lb gorilla, and yet the Landlord's daughter, has the audacity to coerce me into dancing with her. I'm not Philomena, who is so graceful that she appears light as a bubble and delicate as a dragonfly. The whole time, I was worried about accidentally stepping on the Landlord's daughter's toes and crushing them. Egads! The girl knows no fear. I suspect I'm growing soft-hearted in my middle age, and must figure out a way to maintain surly gruffness when faced with toddler persistence.

Tee-shirt sales to benefit the acquisition of the Bradley Enterprises helicopter have slowed considerably. It's too bad, because a Brad the Gorilla tee-shirt enhances any outfit, casual or business. Behold:

This is a photo of my Landlord and his daughter. My Landlord is wearing a Brad the Gorilla tee-shirt. It lends him an air of gravitas. By the way, I don't know where the Landlady was when I took this photo, but I suspect she was swilling the freshly-pressed spiked cider before passing out in the pumpkin patch.


Ulric said...

Once again, they made you look really small in that photo. Folks, Brad really is a big gorilla (and not just heavy). I'll find a photo that proves it.

Yorkshire Pudding said...

Ha! Ha! Little Lucia wasn't dancing with you, she was wrestling! And by the evidence of the photo it is clear that she was winning! Beaten by a small girl. Now will you descend from your rostrum of pompous pride?

Yorkshire Pudding said...

By the way what were your landlord and his champion wrestler daughter doing in a field full of basketballs?

Lady K said...

You look so ADORABLE! Oh wait, Lucia looks adorable. You look furry and GRUFF. And well, I just wanna squeeze your gruffy CHEEKS! Sorry, pal, "gruff" just ain't gettin' it this time. Maybe I need to order a mug for the helicopter contribution.

LOVE the pun'kin patch!

Lady K said...

P.S. How Does one go about getting one of those mugs? The peeps in my kingdom have been inquiring.

Monkey said...

Oh my merciful heavens! You look quite drunk in this photo. Are you sure they didn't spike your cider to make you more amenable to dancing?

I fret for you.

Nonny said...

Awesome pictures Brad! Now if we could only convince you to wear the tutu, that would be perfect on a t-shirt.

peppermintie said...

I think toddler insistence aside, you should be thrilled to dance whenever presented with the chance!

Dancing makes you a better being!

Dr. Sour said...

Brad, you're really small. Smaller than a human toddler. I'm shocked. Somehow, I thought that you would be a lot bigger, since you are a gorilla.

Brad the Gorilla said...

Ulric: I know that photo of which you write. Send it, quickly!

Mr Pudding: I will never be defeated by a mere girlie, no matter how sweete she be. The only person who's ever beaten me at wrestling was Lady K, and she cheated by tickling. Re: the field full of basketballs, they were playing basketball. You are a bit of a thickie, aren't you?

Lady K: Adorable, hah! You tickler, you. I'll post the link for the STORE.

nonny: I don't wear tutus. Tutus are for girls and girrrillas like my cousin Philomena.

Monkey: I can hold my spiked cider very well, thank you. Burp.

Peppermintie: You're one of those cheerful types, aren't you?! Next thing you'll be saying is that more sleep will make me less grouchy.

Dr. Sour: You are so pummelled.