Sunday, June 11, 2006

Solitary Confinement

I have been thrust into solitary confinement for the remainder of the New York trip. What an "UNSPEAKABLE OUTRAGE," as Owen Meany would say. When we arrived in Yonkers, the proprietress said that I could stay in the toy-room and sleep in the doll crib. A doll crib!

"This is impossible," I said.

"I am a 452 lb gorilla," I said.

"There is no way I would fit in this room. It would be better to fit me in the living room near the television," I said.

There was some muttering about how dangerous it was to put me in the same room as a television, and then I found myself sitting in the toyroom, facing a Victorian dollhouse. Well, I did what any gorilla would do in a similar situation: I threw a fit! Then, I played with the dollies and pushed them in their little perambulators. At first, Lucia was allowed to visit me for several hours a day, but after she was found to have pulled all of the miniature pictures off of the dollhouse walls as well as plucked every flower from its plastic stem, the proprietress deemed me a Bad Influence. Then, she locked the door.

Tomorrow, the House of Glee sets forth for Seattle on a slow-moving train. They have threatened to check me with the baggage, but I know in the end, Lucia will come to my defense. She's already promised to sneak me some strawberry-rhubarb pie after everyone's gone to bed. Bravo, Lucia! You are a beacon of sanity in a world of craziness.


Nonny said...

You poor baby! I you put up with such indignities is a testament to your gruffness.

The train ride sounds really awesome. Hope you get to enjoy it from a window seat and not the baggage compartment.

HitManJ said...

Hrm...hope they have enough diesel power for your 452 pounds!

Fridaysweb said...

I'm so sorry you got busted, but glad you got to see some of the sights. I'm wondering how the train ride went. See anything exciting, or were you shuffled to the window-less back compartment? Update us when you've gotten off punishment. How long are you grounded?

Yorkshire Pudding said...

Oh My Lord that really is a slow train! You last blogged on June 11th and now it's June 16th. Have you made New Jersey yet? Pennsylvania? Or are you going the other way via the Titanic wreck and Europe? Feel free to call in for a banana but please don't frighten our cat! You are a beacon or craziness in a world of sanity!

Brad the Gorilla said...

I'm home! I'm home. I'm just recovering from the massive headache I got from the wine-tasting party hosted for sleeping-cabin passengers. I wish I could say that I crashed the party, but since the House of Glee had to get me my own sleeper car (federal regulations), I was a fully-invited guest. Poor sods, though. Everyone else got 4 glasses of wine, but I drank 4 bottles!

More to come...