Saturday, June 17, 2006

Regarding the UFO in Montana...

Hello, faithful readers, I have returned from my vacation.

As some of you may remember, I was a stowaway on the House of Glee’s trip to New York City. I was quite clever with all of my hideaways and disguises. Only Lucia, the Landlord’s daughter, discerned my secret, and fortunately, her repeated utterances of “Gorilla! Gorilla!” were interpreted at 3-year-old babble by her unsuspecting parents. After I attempted to climb the Empire State Building, I was caught, put in jail, and then released, thanks to a “Get Out of Jail Free” card. When the House of Glee went to Yonkers, I was put in solitary confinement in the toy room. There I stayed until it was time to return to Seattle via train.

Now, the House of Glee fully intended to check me with their luggage. I was indignant and I threw a tantrum in the railway station. One grouchy old coot glared at me and got up in a huff to read his book elsewhere. Other people tried to stand their ground. “If we just ignore him, he’ll go away,” I heard one businessman say to another.

No such luck.

Fortunately, the train staff was on MY side.“You simply cannot check a gorilla in baggage,” they told my Landlord and Landlady. “In fact, you must get the gorilla his own first class sleeper-car so that he will stay out of everyone’s way.” My Landlord protested, my Landlady fumed, but in the end, it they had a choice between paying for a sleeper car for me or getting kicked off the train for causing a ruckus.

Let me tell you: the sleeper car is the proper way to travel on a train. All meals are included, and you get extra amenities like complimentary champagne, freshly-baked cookies before bed and exclusive wine and cheese-tastings in the diner car. There were four different wines to taste, and I drank a bottle of each.

Early next morning, I saw a spaceship above a train-station in Montana. Everyone claims I had too much wine to drink the day before, and was hallucinating from a hangover, but I got a photo of the event. Behold!

If that's not proof of alien life, then what is? Take that, you Doubting Thomases!


Yorkshire Pudding said...

If you had kept completely still you could have been mistaken for a child's cuddly toy. Some children have big teddy bears so why couldn't Lucia have a big cuddly gorilla? This would have avoided excessive railway charges. Sorry to disappoint you but the thing in the sky was just a frisbee that little Randy and Scott were flinging to each other across the parking lot. There ain't much else to do in Montana.

Lady K said...

Welcome BACK, your Gruffness! That sleeper car sounds amazing. Can I stow away with you next time?

Were you scared about that UFO? It looks to me like it could have been a blimp. Non-related, I think Montana has some of the most AMAZING countryside. Hope you got to see some of it from the train!

Brad the Gorilla said...

Mr Pudding,
The UFO was not a frisbee. I promise you that. I recommend you enlarge the photo to examine it more thoroughly.

Regarding the idea that if I had kept still, I could have been mistaken for a huge child's toy... preposterous! As my dear friend Monkey can attest, when people think you're a stuffed animal, you STARVE.

Lady K:
You surely may stow away with me next time. However, if you keep really still and pose as a stuffed animal, perhaps we can avoid excessive railway charges. The one flaw in that plan is that it would be quite difficult for you to sneak into the wine-tasting party.

The UFO was not a blimp! Keep looking, and the answer will come to you.

Aliens. The aliens are coming.

HitManJ said...

I know a street light when I sees one.

The problem with Lady stowing away with you as your toy is that no one would believe you to carry stuffed're gruffness is just too obvious!

Lady K said...

I smell photoshop. Was that star there last time? Hmmmmmm.....

Nonny said...

Holy crap! Looks real to me Brad. Of course I never, ever doubt anything you say.

Fridaysweb said...

I once saw a revolving restaurant that resembled that. Of course, I've also seen aliens. I believe it might have been after a wine tasting, though. Hope you didn't spill the Burgundy on yourself. We'd end up with quite the Grape Ape, wouldn't we?

Welcome back!