Hello, faithful readers, I have returned from my vacation.
As some of you may remember, I was a stowaway on the House of Glee’s trip to New York City. I was quite clever with all of my hideaways and disguises. Only Lucia, the Landlord’s daughter, discerned my secret, and fortunately, her repeated utterances of “Gorilla! Gorilla!” were interpreted at 3-year-old babble by her unsuspecting parents. After I attempted to climb the Empire State Building, I was caught, put in jail, and then released, thanks to a “Get Out of Jail Free” card. When the House of Glee went to Yonkers, I was put in solitary confinement in the toy room. There I stayed until it was time to return to Seattle via train.
Now, the House of Glee fully intended to check me with their luggage. I was indignant and I threw a tantrum in the railway station. One grouchy old coot glared at me and got up in a huff to read his book elsewhere. Other people tried to stand their ground. “If we just ignore him, he’ll go away,” I heard one businessman say to another.
No such luck.
Fortunately, the train staff was on MY side.“You simply cannot check a gorilla in baggage,” they told my Landlord and Landlady. “In fact, you must get the gorilla his own first class sleeper-car so that he will stay out of everyone’s way.” My Landlord protested, my Landlady fumed, but in the end, it they had a choice between paying for a sleeper car for me or getting kicked off the train for causing a ruckus.
Let me tell you: the sleeper car is the proper way to travel on a train. All meals are included, and you get extra amenities like complimentary champagne, freshly-baked cookies before bed and exclusive wine and cheese-tastings in the diner car. There were four different wines to taste, and I drank a bottle of each.
Early next morning, I saw a spaceship above a train-station in Montana. Everyone claims I had too much wine to drink the day before, and was hallucinating from a hangover, but I got a photo of the event. Behold!
If that's not proof of alien life, then what is? Take that, you Doubting Thomases!