Saturday, June 17, 2006

Regarding the UFO in Montana...

Hello, faithful readers, I have returned from my vacation.

As some of you may remember, I was a stowaway on the House of Glee’s trip to New York City. I was quite clever with all of my hideaways and disguises. Only Lucia, the Landlord’s daughter, discerned my secret, and fortunately, her repeated utterances of “Gorilla! Gorilla!” were interpreted at 3-year-old babble by her unsuspecting parents. After I attempted to climb the Empire State Building, I was caught, put in jail, and then released, thanks to a “Get Out of Jail Free” card. When the House of Glee went to Yonkers, I was put in solitary confinement in the toy room. There I stayed until it was time to return to Seattle via train.

Now, the House of Glee fully intended to check me with their luggage. I was indignant and I threw a tantrum in the railway station. One grouchy old coot glared at me and got up in a huff to read his book elsewhere. Other people tried to stand their ground. “If we just ignore him, he’ll go away,” I heard one businessman say to another.

No such luck.

Fortunately, the train staff was on MY side.“You simply cannot check a gorilla in baggage,” they told my Landlord and Landlady. “In fact, you must get the gorilla his own first class sleeper-car so that he will stay out of everyone’s way.” My Landlord protested, my Landlady fumed, but in the end, it they had a choice between paying for a sleeper car for me or getting kicked off the train for causing a ruckus.

Let me tell you: the sleeper car is the proper way to travel on a train. All meals are included, and you get extra amenities like complimentary champagne, freshly-baked cookies before bed and exclusive wine and cheese-tastings in the diner car. There were four different wines to taste, and I drank a bottle of each.

Early next morning, I saw a spaceship above a train-station in Montana. Everyone claims I had too much wine to drink the day before, and was hallucinating from a hangover, but I got a photo of the event. Behold!



If that's not proof of alien life, then what is? Take that, you Doubting Thomases!

7 comments:

Yorkshire Pudding said...

If you had kept completely still you could have been mistaken for a child's cuddly toy. Some children have big teddy bears so why couldn't Lucia have a big cuddly gorilla? This would have avoided excessive railway charges. Sorry to disappoint you but the thing in the sky was just a frisbee that little Randy and Scott were flinging to each other across the parking lot. There ain't much else to do in Montana.

Lady K said...

Welcome BACK, your Gruffness! That sleeper car sounds amazing. Can I stow away with you next time?

Were you scared about that UFO? It looks to me like it could have been a blimp. Non-related, I think Montana has some of the most AMAZING countryside. Hope you got to see some of it from the train!

Brad the Gorilla said...

Mr Pudding,
The UFO was not a frisbee. I promise you that. I recommend you enlarge the photo to examine it more thoroughly.

Regarding the idea that if I had kept still, I could have been mistaken for a huge child's toy... preposterous! As my dear friend Monkey can attest, when people think you're a stuffed animal, you STARVE.

Lady K:
You surely may stow away with me next time. However, if you keep really still and pose as a stuffed animal, perhaps we can avoid excessive railway charges. The one flaw in that plan is that it would be quite difficult for you to sneak into the wine-tasting party.

The UFO was not a blimp! Keep looking, and the answer will come to you.

Aliens. The aliens are coming.

HitManJ said...

I know a street light when I sees one.

The problem with Lady stowing away with you as your toy is that no one would believe you to carry stuffed toys....you're gruffness is just too obvious!

Lady K said...

I smell photoshop. Was that star there last time? Hmmmmmm.....

Nonny said...

Holy crap! Looks real to me Brad. Of course I never, ever doubt anything you say.

Fridaysweb said...

I once saw a revolving restaurant that resembled that. Of course, I've also seen aliens. I believe it might have been after a wine tasting, though. Hope you didn't spill the Burgundy on yourself. We'd end up with quite the Grape Ape, wouldn't we?

Welcome back!