Before I go any further, let me clear up a couple of rumors:
1) Ulric is not the author of this blog. Frankly, I resent the implications. I can write my own blog. I do all the typing myself, and sometimes even type with my feet when my finger-pads get sore. If you really must know, my Landlady gives me some suggestions about ideas for my blog from time to time and even lends me her laptop on occasion. I usually taunt her with raspberries (but sometimes I throw over-ripe loquats). Ulric does have an astute memory, though, and it is he who reminds me of my many exploits in film, art, cookery and music.
2)I am a 451 (sometimes 453) lb gorilla. Why my Landlord thinks he can pick me up is beyond me. I am over twice his size, for pete’s sake.
There. I'm glad that everything's cleared up. I feel better. Don't you? Onto business...
Some of you may remember the fiasco involving the loss of my chili-pepper apron. When I threw it on the floor of the Green Dragon Inn, the proprietor picked it up and took it for his very own. I raged, threatened, bribed and cajoled, but with no success. I had the last laugh, though. I called the Health Department to inspect the establishment.
Tonight, my Landlady made me a new chili-pepper apron. It is even better-looking than the old one, though I have to say that her embroidery is a bit wobbly. Oh well, it's better than my embroidery would be. I have trouble holding the needle, as it's usually so small and gets stuck in my finger-pads.