Tuesday, April 04, 2006
Learning Experiences from Movies and TV
Things I learned from watching movies.
More things I learned from watching movies.
Even more things I learned from watching movies.
Still more things I learned from watching movies.
Finally, things I learned while watching the television program Lost on a small computer screen next to my Landlord and Landlady:
1) If someone asks you about a secret from your life before you got stranded on the island, you can avoid answering by looking wistful, narrowing your eyes, and cueing mysterious music. If you can arrange for a fade to a commercial (or even better, a rolling of the credits), you're in the clear.
2) If someone offers to tell you a secret from his or her life before s/he got stranded on the island, say, "No, it's not important" only if there are three minutes left to the rolling of the credits. Otherwise, you can say, "Sure, go ahead," but expect that the person will change his or her mind about revealing the secret. (See #1).
3) If you get captured by mysterious villians on the island and actually escape from them, you must have amnesia by the time you return to the camp. In no way are you to find out anything crucial to the castaways' survival on the island. If you break this rule and find out something crucial to the castaways' survival on the island, you will probably lose a lot of blood.
4) One person on the island always has an inexhaustable supply of sunscreen, pillaged from the wreckage of the fuselage. This person also has lots of personal razors and shaving cream. When you need something from this person, it's important to demand it, often accompanied by threats. Saying "please" and "thank you" is gratuitious and unnecessary.
5) If you are ten years old, always go into the jungle unaccompanied, preferably without telling anyone. If you must bring your dog, make sure you drop its leash at a crucial moment. It doesn't matter that there are dangerous beasts in the jungle and you've been warned to stay close to camp. You've had a tough childhood, and no one is the boss of you.