Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Cook-Booking With Bradley

I haven't gone near a stove at all since Chef Pudding and I handled fresh eels on last week's episode of Cooking with Bradley. On Friday, my dentist drilled some holes into me and put a temporary crown on my backmost molar. Monday morning, as I was eating my cereal, I realized that the small rock-like object in my mouth was not an overdried raisin. A hectic schedule filled with meetings for Bradley Enterprises kept me from attending to my detached crown until Tuesday morning. For all of Monday, I had to drink and eat everything with a straw. Many thanks to Friday for the pain-killing margaritas and Tallulah for the oragel. Mr Pudding regaled me with his guitar, but in his ode* to me, forgot that I was a gorilla, not a chimpanzee. I would have thought that my name, Brad the Gorilla, was a dead give-away, but who knows: perhaps in England, "chimpanzee" means gorilla, just as "pumpkin" means squash in Australia.

Be that as it may, this week, there will be no cooking on Cooking With Bradley. Instead, I'll introduce you to some of my favorite cookbooks:

Wookie Cookies: a Star Wars Cookbook

Star Wars Cookbook II: Darth Malt and Other Galactic Recipes

Roald Dahl's Revolting Recipes

This one, however, is the non-pareil of cookbooks:

*In case you were interested, here is Mr Pudding's Song for Brad the Gorilla:

"Sail away you chimpanzee
Far across the salty sea
Stay in your cabin
On the poop deck
While a lady gorilla
Massages your neck!

And when the ship
Comes into port
Don't leap from the funnel
With a sneer and a snort
After all you're not King Kong
And this is the end
Of this stupid song!"


Ulric said...

A word to the wise: tread with care and don't open your mouth on a gorilla poop deck.

Oh, and congratulations on earning the title "Iron Brad".

Yorkshire Pudding said...

What a fantastic ditty! Barry Manilow watch out! I feel so deflated that there's no recipe this week. It's like a broken promise and what's this about "Iron Brad"? Shouldn't it read "Floppy Brad"? Tee-hee!

Brad the Gorilla said...

Ulric: I couldn't have become "Iron Brad" without you. Or rather, your cooking left so much to be desired that I HAD to become a chef.

Mr Pudding: To make up for my "broken promise," next week's recipe will be dedicated to you. Jellied Eels is nothing in comparison to what I have in store for you.

Is "floppy" the opposite of "iron?" I'll have to look that one up, old chap.

Nonny said...


Your totally demented. You do realize that?

Fridaysweb said...

I would like my autographed copy of Iron Brad posted to me at 123 Way Off The Beaten Path, BFE, NC (wait, I have to take my shoes off to get the next numbers) 09876.

thank you, kind Gorilla.

Brad the Gorilla said...

Friday: Your autographed copy of the book is on its way.

Nonny: I have long suspected as much.